


Best Served Cold

by firstlovelatespring



Category: Enchanted Forest Chronicles - Patricia Wrede
Genre: Frogs, Gen, Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:35:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21881728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstlovelatespring/pseuds/firstlovelatespring
Summary: In which Antorell causes trouble in the Enchanted Forest, and Cimorene and Alianora make an amphibious new friend.
Comments: 20
Kudos: 47
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	Best Served Cold

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lorata](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lorata/gifts).

> To lorata: Happy yuletide! and to [beatrice_otter](http://archiveofourown.org/users/beatrice_otter): Thanks for looking this over!

“Antorell, stop stealing magic right now!” Cimorene said.

Antorell shook his head. “I don’t think I will, princess. I have just as much right to be here as you do.”

“Not if you’re stealing the forest’s magic you don’t.” Cimorene crossed her arms over her chest. While Antorell was busy glaring at Cimorene, Alianora grabbed his staff, revealing a patch of dead moss where it had been.

“Hey, give that back!” Antorell reached for the staff, but Alianora did not give it up easily. They tugged back and forth, sparks flying from one end of the staff every time it got closer to Antorell. Finally, the staff slipped out of Alianora’s hands. Antorell lost his balance, and a bolt of magic shot from the end of his staff into a nearby stream. A frog ribbited loudly in indignation.

“Look what you’ve done!” Alianora said. 

Before Antorell could answer, a frog hopped into the clearing. It was bright-green, about the size of a loaf of bread, and carrying itself with something that could only be described as incredible poise. Cimorene, Alianora, and Antorell stopped their arguing to watch it.

The frog opened its mouth and let out the loudest ribbit that Cimorene had ever heard. They were all nearly buffeted back by the sound, as if instead of a ribbit it had been a powerful gust of wind. The frog turned to Antorell and opened its mouth once more. Instead of sound, a wave of swamp water poured from its mouth, but before it could soak the wizard, Antorell waved his staff and disappeared into thin air.

The frog looked furious. It opened its mouth at Cimorene next, but before it could begin the deluge, Cimorene cried out, “Wait!” The frog paused, and Cimorene thought of how best to avoid being covered in swamp water. “Sir or Madam, I am very sorry for the magic that disturbed your morning, but it was that wizard Antorell, not us!”

The frog closed its mouth. Cimorene could swear that it wrinkled its brow. It opened its mouth once again. “Oh. Terribly sorry about the confusion, then.”

Cimorene curtsied, and nudged Alianora to do the same. “I’m Cimorene, Chief Cook and Librarian to the King of the Dragons, and this is Princess Alianora of the duchy of Tour-en-marsh.”

“Pleased to meet you,” the frog said. “My name is Ribbita.”

“I hope this isn’t rude to ask,” Alianora said, “but are you a prince?”

“It’s quite alright, although I’m not a prince. I used to be a princess.”

“A princess turned into a frog! I’ve never heard of that before,” Alianora said.

Ribbita hung her head. “That’s what everyone says. I’ve been trying to get turned back into a human for ages, but no one wants to give me true love’s kiss. I’ve even tried asking a magician to turn me back. He said it wasn’t proper for a princess to be turned into a frog. But I’m a princess, and I was. I think my parents were trying to break the taboo, naming me Ribbita and arranging for me to be cursed and all, but being a frog really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

“I didn’t know it was cracked up to be anything,” Cimorene said. “I understand why you’d like to be turned back. And I think I know someone who could help you out.”

***

When Cimorene and Alianora arrived with Ribbita at Morwen’s house, Kazul was over for cider. She sat curled up in the corner, covered in cats, as Ribbita told Morwen her story.

“I should be able to set you right with no trouble at all,” Morwen said. “Let me just get a few ingredients from my store room.”

“Are you sure I can’t eat any more wizards, princess?” Kazul asked Cimorene. “It would teach them not to cause trouble.”

“We’ll just have to melt him the next time we see him,” Alianora said with grin.

“Melt him?” Ribbita asked. She ribbited excitedly.

“Yes,” Cimorene said. “Soapy water with a little bit of lemon juice will melt wizards, although it isn’t permanent. It’s almost as good as eating them,” Cimorene added pointedly to Kazul.

“But less delicious,” Kazul said, licking her lips.

Before Cimorene and Kazul could argue the morality of eating wizards, Morwen emerged from her store room carrying several jars. She placed them on the kitchen table. “It’ll just be half an hour to boil the greenroot, and then I can get the spell going. You’ll be good as new by sundown.”

“Hold on just a minute,” Ribbita said. “I’d like to stay a frog for just one more day. I never did get my revenge on that wizard, and I think being able to ribbit a deluge of water will come in awfully handy.”

No one could disagree with that. The women sat around the table to begin planning their revenge.

“I know for a fact that Antorell will be walking past the Ford of Whispering Snakes tomorrow morning,” Cimorene said. “The Society of Wizards filed for a permit to use one of the larger caves over in the dwarves’ part of the mountains for their annual meeting, and it’s the only way to go since the Sulfurous Spring flooded.”

“Perfect,” Ribbita said. “We hide behind a boulder, and then when he walks by, I’ll unleash the swamp water.”

Alianora frowned. “But how do we get the soap and lemon juice into it?”

“I think I have an idea,” Kazul said, stirring and dislodging a cat from her tail. “At my coronation ceremony, a couple of the younger dragons were able to breathe blue fire after having a bit too much cotton candy.”

“I see where you’re going with this. I’ll eat as many lemons as you want, but I simply refuse to eat soap.” Ribbita balanced on her hind legs and crossed her front legs over her chest.

“I could make you a lemon meringue pie,” Cimorene offered. “The soap can go in the meringue! You won’t even taste it.”

“Then it’s settled,” Morwen said. “We’ll meet tomorrow at sunrise by the boulder on the east side of the trail. I’ll bring the boiled greenroot, and Cimorene, you bring the pie.”

“I’ll cancel my meetings,” Kazul said. She smiled toothily. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

***

The next morning, Cimorene took her pie out of the ice box. The ice box was something Kazul had set up for her in the kitchens of the castle of the King of the Dragons, consisting of a large stone box that had been a coronation gift from the dwarven king, and a block of eternally frozen ice from the Caves of Fire and Night sat at the bottom. Cimorene could make desserts days in advance if Kazul needed to entertain while she was traveling—or the night before, if a certain wizard needed to be ambushed at sunup.

Cimorene, Kazul, Alianora, and Morwen crouched behind the boulder, waiting for Ribbita to show up.

“I hope she has enough time to eat the pie,” Cimorene said nervously. They had already seen several wizards walk by in their blue and brown robes. But sure enough, Ribbita came hopping out of the forest before long.

Ribbita ribbited eagerly. “I hope you brought pie, because I am starving.”

Cimorene placed the pie on the ground in front of Ribbita. The frog knelt over the dish, and her tongue darted in and out of her mouth, almost faster than Cimorene could see. Within seconds, all that remained of the lemon meringue pie was crumbs.

“Mm, much better than flies,” she said, licking her lips.

Morwen looked down at the empty pie dish. “Cimorene, you will have to send me that recipe.”

Before Cimorene could answer, Alianora waved her arms in the air and brought a finger to her lips. “That’s Antorell!” she whispered.

Cimorene peered around the side of the rock. It was Antorell, alone on the path and using his staff as a walking stick. Ribbita hopped from behind the rock and sat innocently on the edge of the path. There was no reason for her to hide, being a frog, but the rest of the women could only peer from behind the boulder.

Antorell drew closer, and Ribbita gave a low warning ribbit. Then, she opened her mouth again, and out poured a wave of soapy water, with a hint of lemon. Antorell was caught completely off guard and had no time to vanish like he had done before, or even dodge. Immediately, he began to melt.

“Noooooo!” he cried out. “I’m melting!”

Cimorene and Alianora took this opportunity to emerge from behind the rock. They linked arms and walked along, pretending as if they had just happened upon Antorell and his misfortune.

“Cimorene? How could you do this to me?!” Antorell screamed. His voice had begun to grow shrill, and he was half Cimorene’s height.

“Us?” Cimorene said. “We’re just a couple of princesses! We wouldn’t do this.”

“Noooooo!” he cried again. Antorell continued melting, until he was no more than a staff and a pile of robes. Ribbita ribbited happily, and a stray bubble floated from her mouth.

“That’ll show Antorell to go throwing his magic around willy-nilly in the Enchanted Forest,” Morwen said. She removed several jars from her sleeves and set them down on the grass in front of Ribbita. “Now, let’s get you turned back into a princess.”


End file.
